Why do I even try?

We’re watching a dystopian drama on opposite sides of the couch. This show is usually a safe bet because I can go to bed feeling as though my life is at least better than that!

Unfortunately, there’s a mandatory love story. When the couple begins passionately making love, I have to excuse myself and leave the room.

I go to the bathroom where tears stream down my face. I miss that; it used to feel so easy. Our lives together were exciting, passionate, and erotic. I yearn for them all the time. I get that things are different now. We have kids, bills, and meal planning, but I don’t even want to have sex anymore. I’m always turned down, so what’s the point?

Maybe I just need to talk about my feelings. I go back to the couch emboldened and say, “Hey, I was thinking, maybe we could go out to that place we used to go. You know the one with the fireplace and great cocktails?”

My partner pauses the show and replies, “How are we going to do that? It’s a 45-minute drive one-way. We’d hardly have any time, and, with the sitter, it’d be pricey.”

That stings, “Yeah, you’re right I guess.”

Chuckling, “That was another life,” my spouse replies.

I feel the rage building in my gut, then yell, “It doesn’t have to be!”

I glance at my spouse and see a bewildered expression cross his face.

Of course, he doesn’t get it! Why do I even try?!?

Exasperated, I get up and say, “I’m going to bed.”

Committed, but stressed

Moments like this don’t have to overtake a relationship!

The stress of a shared domestic life can rob romance of its spark. When we are in a committed relationship, we re-enact old interpersonal patterns with our partners.

Over time, this can cause the dynamic to feel predictable and yet disconnected. We lose sight of each other and unintentionally – or intentionally – find ourselves hurting our partner. The bridge between us can feel as though it is deteriorating.

Mending the bridge

Couples therapy provides a space to reconnect and heal so that we can work to mend your bridge. We consider how to re-calibrate your communication and balance to keep passion and affection alive.

Aspire therapists understand that these changes didn’t happen overnight, and we realize that couples can live in a relationship that feels broken for a long time. Don’t lose hope!

It’s time to rebuild and rekindle.

Contact us at (323) 345-1402 to help revitalize your relationship today!